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The Simpsons, Grandpa Shriner

'Suddenly, it dawned on Homer why Grampa never gets traffic tickets'...

Homer Simpson

Homer: I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff... and I want in.

Homer: I'd give anything to get into the Stonecutters.

Lisa: What do they do there, dad?

Homer: What do they do? What don't they do!? Oh, they do so many things--they never stop. Oh, the things they do there, my stars!

Lisa: You don't know what they do there, do you?

Homer: Not as such, no.

Lisa: You're a member of the Stonecutters, grampa?

Grampa: Oh, sure, let's see. I'm an Elk, a Mason, a communist, I'm the president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance for some reason... ah, here it is, the Stonecutters.

Homer: This is it! My ticket in! They have to let me join if I'm a son of a member. I'll take this communist one too!

Homer Simpson

Originally aired: Sunday January 8, 1995 on FOX

Writer: John Swartzwelder
Director: Jim Reardon
Guest Stars: Patrick Stewart (#1)
Production Code: 2F09

Homer has trouble with a plumber and at work he begins noticing that Lenny and Carl have a lot of mysterious privileges at work. Lenny keeps giving hints that they are part of a secret. Homer follows them one night when they go to their secret meeting place. Every male in Springfield that he knows is in the place. Lenny lets it slip that they are the Stonecutters and Homer wants to be a member. He discovers that Abe is a member, which means that he can easily become a member. They initiate him with painful rituals and he is member #908. As a Stonecutter, the plumber quickly fixes the leak in his basement and he gets a new parking space at work. When they celebrate a big occasion Homer desecrates a sacred parchment. As his punishment Homer is kicked out of the club and they take his clothes. Upon stripping him, they discover a birthmark. It is shaped like their logo, which means he must be the chosen one. They begin to worship him. They let him win at card games. Soon his life becomes meaningless and too easy. Lisa recommends that he begin helping people in the community using his new authority. The Stonecutters don't like helping people, so they form a new secret society, the "No Homers". As the only Stonecutter left, he begins feeling lonely. Marge makes him realize that he is part of a more exclusive club... the Simpson family.

John Philip Sousa




Mr. Burns, The Simpsons

The Simpsons Stonecutters Episode

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'The great majority of active Masons conceal their membership from the Non-Masonic, they just don't want the fact that they are Freemasons widely publicized, for most of them it is something they guard quite closely, especially for Masons who are public officials.

Masonry doesn't want the Non-Masonic becoming aware of their 'pillar of mutual support', the network of favoritism in business, careers, social-religious, and politics. The real secret of Freemasonry is that it is a real secret society.'

Don't Tread On Me, U.S. Navy Jack


Richards, who is a high-ranking freemason, said he was 'really busted up over this'

Michael Richards, Scottish Rite, Freemasonry, Freemasons, Freemason, Masonic


I belong to an AFL-CIO construction local and you would be shocked at the ring clicking that goes on with regard to long term big money jobs and foremen appointments. I contacted the NLRB about the issue and made them release a list of all the Masons in our local. They were FURIOUS (against their rules to identify) but I had the full weight of the US Guvmint behind me and they had to cough it up. Needless to say I spent several years after that working in Detroit, Toledo, New York, Fort Wayne,....Get the picture? Our Business Agent is the Grand Master of the local Lodge. My father was a high Mason (33rd)and they felt I betrayed them. I just feel everyone should get a fair shake. These organizations within organizations will be the demise of the original intent of some good well meaning people that fought hard for human rights and dignity in the name of organized labor. I always say "if you can't do a thing you must get a ring". LOTS of cops are Masons and almost ALL state police FYI

Bill Clinton


one more thing; my friends brother couldn't advance as a prison guard until he joined the Masons. Now he is an officer. They strongly suggested it would help his career and SHAZAAM!!!

The Purple People Eaters...

23 Apr 2005
United Kingdom

i don't like the masons because it gets in the way of what people should be doing/thinking about. case in point: vicar at the church where i grew up. the whole community was full of them. he was a mason, and on his way down the aisle he turned to bow to the master (or whatever) of his lodge in the congregation. to me, that's so incredibly disrespectful and wrong it just turns my stomach.

otherwise, i think it's like a boys' club insurance group. you pay into it, if you die young or whatever they pay your children's school fees and that sort of thing. i think it probably stemmed from something fairly normal (my guess is a precursor of a union for masons - as in stoneworkers - who worked in very dangerous occupations with a limited wage) but got all caught up in itself with judaeo-christian wibbles and nutters like the templars. i think the danger in having a secret society like that is that it's all unregulated - they value their secrecy so highly that things that should get out, don't. it's bound to attract the lunatic element as well - i had an ex who had some bizarre templar thing going on, total nutter, fancied himself as the next aleister crowley or something. and inevitably, the sanity of the local lodge depends on the ratio of nutters to normal people, and it has the opportunity to get completely out of hand.

and, more to the f... point, even if it's as harmless as a golf club, it's still a 'men only' networking opportunity and as such should be f... illegal.

Prince Philip, Freemason

May 1, 2005
Name Redacted

I am not clear if you are able to answer a question, in confidence? I serve on a board of an otherwise Christian ministry where I recently learned that one of the other board members has become a 33rd degree freemason within the past year. He is actually now serving as both Treasurer and the interim director of this organization. Recently, we also created a new position of human resources (HR) director to start to set up a fair system of competition for jobs in this somewhat large organization. The 33rd degree board member promptly filled it with his hand pick. Now, we were recently sent a resume of a person to fill the position of Career Specialist, again a hand pick, supposedly of the new HR director.

Here is my question: At the bottom of the man's resume he lists "interests" including the usual: travel, reading cinema... then there is a curious interest: "Guiding Light". This may or may not be a reference to the popular American "soap opera", but learning, from your website, how Masons seem to help each other "up the ladder" in the business world, I was wondering if you ever heard of this phrase being used in a resume as a "code", from one Mason to another, to help the hiring Mason know they have a brother Mason as an applicant? I know it is the name of several Masonic Lodges in the US.

I just came upon your website and find it to be very interesting. Thank you for your time on this matter.

Australian Freemasonry

May 6, 2005

You guys need to look at freemasonry and how it's taking over the UAW. Gxttxlfxngxr may be a Catholic but his top people (Pxxl Qxxck, Jxhn Hxntxr, Dxvx Pxckxtt, Dxvx Cxrszxn, Whxtxy Stxvxns, etc.) are all known Masons. They have driven out many Catholics. We just had our union elections and the only people who get elected now are people with known Masonic connections.

Secret Societies of the Labour Movement


I met a mason who bragged that the nifty masonic emblems on the rear of his car got him out of some speeding tickets. Perhaps the divine knowledge inscribed on the pillar uncovered by Hermes Trismegistus taught him to disregard traffic safety laws.

I also knew an Arab mason in San Fransisco, a sucessful entrepeneur who owned a small business in a poor, mostly black & Latino neighborhood, a "petit capitalist" as Marx would say. He didn't deny that masons were running the United States, in fact his confidence that they did is why he was a mason, he hoped it would be his ticket to sit at the same table with the anglo-american ruling elite. He bragged that white Masonic lodges accepted Arabs, but not blacks.

Masonic Liscence Plate

13 Jun 2005

Subject: My Experience with Mason/Occult

First I would like thank your website for allowing me to vent this strange experience that I went through. I assure you it is true, but very uneasy.

My parents went to a furniture auction and bought a handfull of items that they brought into the house. I live with my parents with my younger brother. I started looking at the furniture that my parents bought since it looked very strange and downright scary.

First there was a pair of chairs which upon inspection had a pentagram on the part where your back rests. In the pentagram was 18 circles (which is 6+6+6). There was also a pair of lamps which had three six fingered toes on each. They were black and had three faces of an old man and a goat head with a wreath being placed around it by two naked humans.

Anyways, it was only a short time until my brother started seeing strange things near these items. One occurance was I was getting a glass of water when I saw a black silhouette of a person doing a nazi-like saluate to the lamp. I was shocked and it disappeared before my eyes.

My brother saw the same shape near the other lamp upstairs, but it didn't make any moves. Around the chairs we started seeing a red dot light that would also disappear. We told our parents about it, but they said it was absurd. I ended up destroying the objects, but that's when things got much worse.

They also bought a table and chairs which had the pyramid insignia on it. There was also 666 carved in the table and chairs. One night I saw a huge black blob hovering above the table. One night I was sleeping in my bed when I felt something was trying to shake me. I told my parents, but they don't believe in the supernatural.

Anyways, that's my story, I know it is a bit to take in but that is what happened. I would have never believed in the occult or evil spirits until these happenings.

God bless.

A Lodge Room


Satan's Strategy of Confusion, Suggestion, and Control

What Satan seeks is a negation of worship and any thought of a higher purpose or higher power other than the here and now, i.e. 'naturalism'.

According to the Satanic scheme of things there can be no objective truth, everything is merely 'relative'. The purpose of Satanic Rituals is a mocking of religion, that is why they are usually based on a reversal of normative religious rituals and rites.

Therefore by closely scrutinizing occult rituals and teachings, the presence of reversals and mockeries, sometimes of a very nuanced nature, which would have required the 'creator' to have had a deep theological understanding, can often be detected - by trained theologians. As often many of the initiates have little or no theological understanding or training the satanic 'humour' is all the greater as the candidate has no idea what he has just participated in.

In the case of much of the ritual degree 'work' and writings in many Masonic Orders, especially the 'higher' degrees, the presence of this 'upsidedownness' has been confirmed after intensive investigations by many Christian Churchs.

Essentially the purpose of all occult initiations and rituals is for the initiate to 'awaken' his or her own 'dormant powers'. In reality of course the 'hidden powers' 'awakened' are not the initiates but represent in fact the presence of demonic spirits, as the occultist has put themself in a state of familiar possession.

Over time, and as the complexity of the ritual deepens, this 'familiar spirit' symbiotic relationship only worsens as more powerful demons are tied to the Mason by the occult initiations.

It seems in Satan's scheme of things possession is indeed nine tenth's of the law.

Freemasons, Freemason, Freemasonry

Dragons Den, Freemasons, freemason, freemasonry, masonic


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