VMAs, Freemasonry — What More Could You Want On A Monday Afternoon?
September 10, 2007
I'm still reeling from the colossal shitstorm that was this year's MTV VMAs. At least no one made me blog about it. All the pretty lights and booze in Vegas couldn't save this overblown (and dull!) awards show. Sarah Silverman should really know better. And I should have known not to bother watching.
Oh, but those Freemasons!
Over the weekend, Brooke and I paid a visit to the penultimate parlor of brotherhood, the George Washington Masonic Memorial in Alexandria, Virginia. The building is quite majestic from the outside, but the interior is like a glorified Elk's Lodge filled with pseudo-mystical, quasi-biblical baubles.
I still took tons of pictures, once I was certain it was kosher. Hell, they allowed a film shoot for National Treasure II: Book of Secrets. (Wasn't that the subhead for Blair Witch II? I bet this flick is every bit as good).
For those of you who prefer to hold tight to your Dan Brown fantasies about shadowy conspiracies and metaphorical Christ-blood, consider this your Secret Society Spoiler Alert.
Pics and deliciously clever captions below the fold.
So what did I learn about Freemasonry? Basically that any group with this apalling an aesthetic cannot possibly control the world.
But I intend no disrespect with these photos and captions; my great-grandfather was a 33rd Degree Mason. Plus I don't want to be taken away in the middle of the night...
Posted by casey on September 10, 2007 at 02:02 PM in Conspiracy!, General Mysticism, History, Religion | Permalink
Technorati Tags: Freemasonry, Secret Societies, VMAs
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Way cool photos! Enjoyed the crazy captions, too.
Posted by: Widow's Son | September 10, 2007 at 03:39 PM
This was a related article that I found quite funny from Dennis Hensley, a freelance dude that contributes to msnbc's site, among others.
Posted by: Sean | September 10, 2007 at 03:47 PM
This is the best damn thing I seen all day. I am shaking with excitement. THEY HAVE AN ONLINE GIFT SHOP!
Posted by: Molly | September 10, 2007 at 04:50 PM
Whoa...your captions take the cake. I've never seen such idolatry. Those heathens shall be smite (smited? Smote?...I think that's past tense) down and consumed by fires of a most jealous god. I must be learning something over here, cuz I know I saw the alchemical process in one of those pentagrams, and it sure looks like a golden muscaria mushroom in the final "philosopher's stone" stage. You're right, though...they're an aesthetically lazy fraternity.
Posted by: Jebson | September 11, 2007 at 06:41 AM
Lazy? No we're just usually too busy arguing with one another over something to actually make a unified dicision on something like decorating.
Posted by: Luke | September 11, 2007 at 09:32 AM
oh that's good stuff. When i lived on Clarke street my bedroom window looked out on the Masonic temple at the top of church, that building is great, so dark and brick. i also liked to look out at it and imagine that inside that giant peaked roof was some demon restrained just barely by massive shackles and magic.
I was often drunk when i did this.
Posted by: Tanner | September 11, 2007 at 10:17 AM
Like Yog-Sothoth in The Pentagon, which is also just down the street...
I feel an Occcultica/DC Architecture post coming on. And damn, I was just about to reveal the glory of Wishbone Ash over on ProgBlog. Guess it'll have to wait...
Posted by: casey | September 11, 2007 at 10:29 AM
There's a lovely Scottish Rite temple just up the road from Johns Hopkins here in Baltimore. I think it's being turned into condos. Dibs on the ritual chamber suite!
Loyola College already purchased the Boumi temple, detonated it, and sowed the ground with salt. Now it's a co-ed undergrad workout complex.
Posted by: geoff | September 11, 2007 at 04:00 PM
I like, the photos. Though i do not understand the satire. The Washington Masonic Temple is a amazing building though!
Posted by: Hiram Abiff | October 02, 2007 at 06:19 PM
What a great tour, thanks. Not to educational, but lots of fun. You should consider guiding us to other monuments! I would be a fan.
Posted by: DarbyOG